This month we’re continuing our focus in alignment with our 2nd Quarter theme of Empower Your Beliefs. May is also Mental Health Awareness month and it’s perfect timing to focus on our Self-Belief and consider how the naysayers, critics and doubters that might include our work colleagues, friends and family whittle away at our self-belief and confidence when we allow it.
Say No to the Naysayers, Critics and Doubters in your life!
Let’s just call them the NCDs! How dare people that are supposed to be your fans, champions and support network end up being the biggest NCDs in your life!?! I’m sure you’ve experienced some hint of this if you’ve ever done something new or challenged yourself to improve in some way. When we take courageous steps and go for it, these NCDs appear and try to steal the joy by shining light on our mistakes or missteps.
The next time you begin to feel a bit of the NCD effect, I encourage you to analyze the motive or intention of these toxic people. Consider their background or experience – do they really know what they’re talking about or just sabotaging your path to success so you can’t achieve what you desire.
Some of the NCDs in my life have definitely wanted me to take a safer or easier route. There’s never a “good time” to start anything new or take any risk. Is it possible they were scared to go for it themselves? Or even jealous?
“I’ve always been inspired even more by any naysayers to keep going for what I want, and they’ve almost been my inspiration many times more so than any positive people around me to conquer.” —Christina Aguilera
Because as much as we would want – we can’t change the NCDs or their behaviors, let’s focus on what we can change by stopping and starting some things that help you Say "YES" to YOU!
4 Stops
1. Stop Worrying About What Others Think. When we let other people’s opinions replace our beliefs about our capabilities, we have essentially given them the power. Keep the power and remember that you are the best and most important expert on what’s best for YOU!
2. Stop Ruminating & Overthinking! We’re never at our best when we continue to think about our actions and words long after a moment has passed. It’s even worse that we fail to get started because we have overthought ourselves to exhaustion. What’s happened, has happened. If you need to make some repairs – do it so you can move forward. Remember that imperfect action is better than no action.
3. Stop Comparing Yourself with Others. Wherever the comparison trap springs – don’t provide the opportunity. Maybe that starts by unsubscribing to something that’s coming into your email or mailbox. Maybe it’s a change in how you spend time on social media. Consider how you’re feeling and if you’re comparing yourself – if so, end that activity.
4. Stop Spending Time with the NCD Crowd. We’ve said this before about those we surround ourselves with. If you’re surrounded by toxic people in your circle who are big into NCDing their way all up in your business – change your circle!
5 Starts
1. Design or Create your New Circle free of the NCD crowd. Surround yourself with raving fans who are champions of your dreams, desires and goals! Start small and really get to know who you let in. It’s OK to have a small, trusted circle you share your hopes and dreams with! By keeping it small, you can ensure that the NCD crowd has no power or influence over you.
2. Remember that your past Achievements remind you of who you really are and what you’re capable of accomplishing. If you haven't yet put together your brag book or kudos folder – get it started!
3. Take on a New Challenge! There’s nothing like a new challenge that will show us who we really are. Maybe there’s a new opportunity at work or in your own business. Maybe it’s a personal goal. Taking on a new challenge and finding success will invigorate your self-belief. When you take on this new challenge – share it only with those that will be your cheerleaders!
4. Invest in Yourself and Grow How You Want. It’s time to start using a resource for YOU. You have time and money that should be invested in what you want to learn and how you can improve. Learning a new skill has always been a confidence boost.
5. Lastly and most importantly, Change the words you use to describe Yourself! Yours is the voice you most often hear. What words are you using? Maybe the NCD crowd is hanging out in your innermost thoughts.
The best way to eject them is to use loving and kind words about yourself. Start by placing reminders to love yourself on your bathroom mirror or a post it on your computer monitor about how you rock! Need extra help - revisit our blog on Taming Your Negative Self-Talk.
This is what I know and is summarized in the well known quote by A. A. Milne:
"You are Braver than you Believe, Stronger than you Seem, Smarter than you think, and Loved More than You’ll Ever Know. "
Believe It!
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